The Lines Are Blurred

Where do you draw the line?

No glossy handbook for this unfortunately. It’s not like I’ve ever read any handbooks for that matter. They emit this manufactured feel most of the time. 

Anyway.

It’s been seared onto my mind. The constant stream of thoughts wrestling with each other do nothing but bring me back to square one. So unsure. Fragile. Confused. Yeah and every other alternate adjective under the sun. 

The thing is, the only thing I’m capable of doing is to listen to the same songs again. And remember.

Which is not necessarily a bad thing, right? 

One week has co…

One week has come and gone. Most of the things on my to-do-list are still undone but I have no regrets, it was a week well spent. I’m fully recharged and ready to take on college again.

Just a few more months. I can almost taste the sweet oncoming liberty… But I can also almost see the flames of my oncoming trials results because whatever studying plans I had for the holidays were incinerated. 

 

Oh well. I had it coming. Haha. Anyway this marks the hiatus from the blogging sphere, at least for the distant future, as I slug my way through A2. Wish me luck! 

This is the aft…

This is the aftermath of the getting dressed up session this morning before I head out. And my wardrobe resembles an avalanche. I was having a “I have nothing to wear” day. It happens to every girl out there I think. You stand in front of a cupboard filled (or in my case, tumbling down) with clothes but you find yourself without a single ensemble to wear.

Fast forward an hour or so later, after firing many “Is this okay?” at my sister, panic attacks realising I have nothing decent to wear, frenzied digging through piles and piles of clothes only to end up failing then turning to my sister’s wardrobe, I finally settled on a colourful dress with printed Japanese motive on it. Something I wouldn’t usually wear around here because I come from a relatively small town, it’d look out of place, overdressed even. Who wears a dress to the local supermarket to buy groceries? But since I was headed out of town so why not? I wouldn’t meet anyone I know anyway. 😉 You see I’m not that courageous when it comes to fashion. Unless I’m overseas or out of my hometown I wouldn’t be caught wearing “statement pieces” like let’s say a hat? Or a humongous headpiece, or tying my hair into two ponytails or plaits. But I don’t think I’d ever tie my hair in two anywhere cause I’ll just look like a walking douchebag. Haha. Back to the point, yeah Japanese motive dress. It’s sort of unusual I guess.

Which brings to my next point, I somehow fell in love with a kinda weird necklace which I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have the courage to wear anytime soon.

In accordance to my no-self-photographs in blog principle, I’ve given Mr Teddy the honour of medelling my new necklace:

 

                                                    Tada!

 

It’s nice isn’t it? Well is it to me anyway. However, some would beg to differ as it has generated comments indicating it’s resemblance to lizard eggs. Lizard eggs. Out of everything under the sun. Sighs. Considering how it’s supposed to be garbed around my neck, constant expectation for it to explode into a mass of lizards isn’t really a comfortable thought. Oh well.

Besides the lizard eggs necklace, the sweepstakes of the day includes a hoodie, a shirt, another shirt, and another shirt. It’s such a shame Mr Teddy can’t model those for you dear Blog Reader. :p 

 

John Mayer

John Mayer. First image that comes to mind:

Epitome of sexiness, right? And he’s not even wielding his TBO yet.

But all good things come to an end. And this ends tragically, let me assure you of that. Because to my horror, when I scouranged Youtube for his latest bits and pieces, this dude is what dubbed as the legendary JM:

 

Oh gosh why JM, WHY?! I think he was going for the smokin’-Wild-Wild-West look but guess what it comes across as I-have-a-million-fleas-in-my-so-cool-mane look. I wonder if this ugly shaggy hair look is all the rage now cause I noticed Jason Mraz looks similar too, in a bad way.

Anyway, JM’s new Born and Raised sounds very country I think. Especially the first song on the album(didn’t bother looking up the title). And I personally detest country. Can’t stand the annoying country guitar harping in the background. But JM is still JM. I’ll just stick to his old stuff for now, save for one or two songs from Born and Raised like Something Like Olivia. Hope his album sales go down, no I’m not cursing him or anything, just…sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind(sounds like bull?) so that he’d revert back to his good ol’ self soon. And for God’s sake get yourself a haircut.

 The psycho cowboy cum paedophile look.

I have one week…

I have one week left of the meager(holidays are really very hard to come by here in my college) Raya break. Decided that I gotta have a list of the things I’ll set out to do:

1. Watch Suits.

2. Sleep without any alarms(notice the plural form) set to mend my unhealthy relationship with my phone because in college, I’m dangerously close to smashing it when it rings.

3. Practise at least an hour of piano everyday.

4. Try not to blow off all my money in my bank account.

5. Exercise on alternate days.

6. Finish Michael Scott’s books (doesn’t seem possible because I’m already bored with book 2, The Magician, I wonder what’s all the fuss about The Alchemyst… Kinda overrated I think?). Scratch that, it’ll suffice if I even finish The Magician. 

7. Read and watch Atonement again.

8. Write on my blog everyday.

9. Study for trials (this should be number 1. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak)

A very ambitious list actually. What with all the distractions(outings, the bed, the box(tv) etc)around. But having a plan will keep me on track hopefully. I’m so tired now I don’t know what I’m crapping. Good night.

Relief

I just feel so, so blessed to have people to back me up all this while and that I have somehow  miraculously pulled through so far.

 I proved the detractors wrong. Your condescending tones now only betray your green-hued envy. 

Another step closer. 

Them Books and Porridge

Whoa I can’t remember the last time I wrote anything here. Apologies to those that care to read this sad excuse of a blog. :p

Been busy with studies for it’s the final semester and the workload is sky high. I feel like I can never do enough. (Gonna whine and complaint like a kid here. My prerogative.) I barely have time to do the stuff I want to. Actually that’s only partly bull. Haha. I still found time to go to the movies religiously, every time a new movie (still reeling from the thrill of The Dark Knight Rises) that is of my interest is released. What I mean is that I have to sacrifice quite a bit here and there in order to get more studying done. Like less time on the piano/guitar, reading books, exercise (not that I’m complaining actually, I only exercise to not gain weight, damaging my eardrums with my dinosaur iPod while I’m at it) and sadly turning down friends. Sorry folks. A nerd’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. It’s just for these few months. I really want to pass the cut-off point. I even downloaded a freaking app on my phone to keep me motivated. Lol.

But fret not, I am not insane. Stressed maybe. My mom told me to not study so much for she fears that I will turn into a nutjob. I don’t study ALL the time. But I sure am amazed to see some of my comrades that seem to be able do so and the level of kiasu-ness that comes with the package. The heat is on, I get it, but for me I refuse to disregard everything else in my life. Moderation is the key in my personal opinion. I pity those that can’t stand the sight of another person studying when he/she is not. I used to feel that way but I got over it somehow. People getting smarter won’t make me any more stupid. Go figure.

I will focus on working on my own goals and we’ll see what happens.

Aside from that, I am proud to announce that I can now cook more things. Haha. The fasting month has certainly brought a change in me where I have no choice but to cook when I cannot stomach anymore by-products of a certain (only??) shop in my college. I learnt how to make porridge. Laugh all you want. I hated porridge before this. Watery tasteless goo design for sick people. Never ate it even when I was sick. No reason to know how to cook it right. Heh. But now I see the light. It’s the fastest, simplest meal I can have apart from instant noodles. One can only eat so many packets of instant noodles before one’s pulse races when one sees the amount of one’s hair fall. Pimples, dark circles and eyebags I have come to terms with but my mane? Never…! So back to porridge, it’s not that bad really. One of my earlier attempts almost resulted in rice, so I added more water in and ate fat, expanded rice soaked in water in the end. But practice makes perfect. I am now a pro at the art of porridge-making. B-) I even made some with red rice. Lol. Roommie’s idea. It was edible. And I felt so healthy I could die.

So there you go, first post in a long while. Will probably be another long while before another post pops up because I’d really rather spend my time watching Suits (damn, that is one fine show you have to watch before you die) instead of typing random thoughts that goes through my brain.

The Rose

Struck a chord with me. Can you guess where this excerpt’s from?

“Well, I must endure the presence of two or three caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies. It seems that they are very beautiful. And if not the butterflies– and the caterpillars– who will call upon me? You will be far away… as for the large animals– I am not at all afraid of any of them. I have my claws.”

And, naïvely, she showed her four thorns.

Then she added: “Don’t linger like this. You have decided to go away. Now go!”

For she did not want him to see her crying. She was such a proud flower…

In My Place – Coldplay

You know you’ve truly made it when the crowd sings along to your guitar rifts.

If you wanted to do somet…

If you wanted to do something absolutely honest, something true, it always turned out to be a thing that had to be done alone.

Richard Yates